Story Book Meadows Healing & Wellness Center

Yesterday I facilitated an Equine Assisted Learning session with a 30 year old client who we’ll call Sharon. Sharon is a Christian searching for a deeper spiritual relationship with God.
 
Each time we bring a horse and a person together for healing or learning, the Holy Spirit always shows up in a unique and encouraging way. Not only does the client learn something about themselves but I am constantly renewed in my own faith in God’s ways as His Word comes to life!
 
Sharon has found her life seems to be stuck and she has come for some sessions to help her become more aware of why she is stuck in her same patterns. So we chose Chelsea as her teacher that evening.
 
We turned Chelsea loose in the arena and I set two jump poles on the ground 5’ apart to represent Sharon’s “inner and outer blocks”. I also set an orange cone further beyond the blocks to represent her goals. These goals are the desires God has placed in her heart to fulfill her purpose in her life and bring her joy on her journey!

 
My instructions to Sharon were to have Chelsea move through (over) her “blocks” to attain the goal she is longing for. She was not to use any rope, halter or any device to help her move the horse but to use her own energy and intention. Sharon has already identified her blocks but wanted a session on moving beyond them.
 

As Sharon started to engage with Chelsea, the horse moved with her for a few steps then circled around and returned to the window that looked out of the arena towards her stall and her friends. Sharon asked her several times to go with her towards the “blocks” and the goal. Each time Chelsea would go several steps, once even going to the pole on the ground (the block) then would circle around and go back to the window. After about 15 minutes of this, Sharon exclaimed “That’s what my life looks like, circling around and around with nothing changing. I keep going back to my comfort zone. That’s where I want to stay!”
 
“What would break her out of that comfort zone to head towards her goals?” I asked Sharon.
 
Sharon’s answer was that she noticed Chelsea wasn’t even focused on the goal or heading towards it. She wasn’t any more interested in the goal than Sharon herself was. Even though Sharon verbalized that she wanted to achieve her goals, she realized she was internally acting just like Chelsea!
 
“What if we got something that she wanted badly enough to go after with some passion?” Sharon asked. So we filled a bucket with hay to encourage Chelsea to follow her “dreams”.
 
With the bucket of hay in hand, Sharon encouraged Chelsea to follow her to the goal. Chelsea sniffed the hay as she took several steps with Sharon towards the poles on the ground then once again circled back to the window. Sharon tried again. With head in the bucket, Chelsea followed her with an eager step but stopped as they moved toward the poles and away from the window.
 
“What’s going on?” I asked Sharon.
 
“She’s interested and excited enough about the hay and wants to follow me but keeps stopping. It’s like there is now a passion to move towards the goal but something keeps stopping her.” Sharon responded.
 
“There appears to be something still missing for her to want to reach the goal” I said to Sharon.
 
“I don’t know what that is?” Sharon replied
 
“How about trust and faith…could it be Chelsea doesn’t feel that in your relationship yet?” I asked her.
 
“Yes, that’s it!” So Sharon spent some time relating to Chelsea. After stroking her, talking to her and encouraging her with her body language and words in a gentle yet firm tone, Sharon once again asked Chelsea to follow her.
 
This time with eyes on the goal, Chelsea walked with Sharon over the poles as though they weren’t even there and straight to the cone that represented the goal. If I could describe the difference of what changed in both of them, I would say it was an internal lightness of heart, a bounce in their steps with renewed energy, and a determination that they could both do this! There wasn’t even a hint of hesitation this time. With a screech of joy and excitement of what they’d accomplished together, Sharon gave Chelsea a big hug!
 
“So what changed?” I asked Sharon.
 
“Our eyes were on the goal and she didn’t even see the blocks. It was like they weren’t there at all!” Sharon’s voice was filled with excitement at the success of their partnership and the willingness of Chelsea’s changed demeanor.
 
“Chelsea is just like me! When I have faith and trust in God being with me and all the talents He’s given me, I want to go after my dreams and I get excited about everything but every time my eyes get on the blocks and I start thinking about all the reasons I can’t do it and won’t succeed, I stop going forward towards my dreams and circle back to my old life and what’s comfortable…Wow!!” Sharon exclaimed.
 
As we put everything away and put Chelsea’s halter on to lead her back to her stall, Sharon said, “I’m going to call this the Chelsea Principle so I never forget that with faith and passion, I can achieve whatever I keep my eyes on! The joy and excitement is in the process of achieving the goal!”
 
What profound truth a shy and quiet horse was able to show my client. There was a message from the Ranch that evening…
 
Each day we are creating our stories with the thoughts and decisions we make… Let’s keep our eyes on the prize and be sure we are creating the story we want to write with our life…
 
Trish Andros Carlo, CPC, MP-ELI
Story Book Meadows
Life Coaching & Equine Assisted Learning
www.storybookmeadows.com

One of the things I hear over and over in sessions is how lonely people feel. This feeling that is shared by clients of all ages and shows up in those who have lots of friends, are fully engaged in activities, are married, those who have a large social calendar or those who are alone. Why is loneliness so prevalent? Is it more common today than it was years ago? Is it stemming from rejection, abandonment, selfishness or just a lack of real honesty? Why do people who are surrounded by other people still feel lonely? And on the other end of the spectrum, why do some people who are frequently alone never feel lonely?

The Wikipedia definition of loneliness is as follows:

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental or emotional factors. Research has shown that loneliness is widely prevalent throughout society among people in marriages, relationships, families and successful careers. It has been a long explored theme in the literature of human beings since classical antiquity. Loneliness has also been described as social pain — a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of isolation and motivate him/her to seek social connections.

In a recent session a teenage girl (I’ll call her Liz) shared how she felt lonely all the time. Liz is very popular at school, even to the point that she is known by everyone in the school. She has lots of friends and does well in her grades. She is attractive, kind, generous and seemed to really have it all together. So why would she feel lonely?

I knew that Liz was speaking the truth because the horses had already shown me what was going on inside of her. It was her first session and I had instructed her to greet each of the horses (there were four in the arena) and get to know them. In sessions, the horses are completely free and able to choose to act of their own will. Once a session begins their behavior reflects the emotions they sense from the client. In this first session the horses had separated into the four corners of the arena and stood quietly watching, totally disengaged from each other, me and Liz. As she went to each horse to greet them and spend time with them, they stayed separate and alone. They spent a few moments checking her out then continued to stand like statues in their self-imposed isolation.

It was fascinating for me to watch as they had never done this before. She finished greeting them and came back to share with me what was happening for her. She felt they didn’t like her and this was when she felt lonely. She shared how that was how she felt at school too. While she was talking to me in the center of the arena the horses all came into the middle to gather around us. She told me how she couldn’t be herself with her friends because she didn’t think they would like her if she honest and that it was hard for her to be “fake” when she was with them. As she shared her truth with me Justice nudged her strongly enough that she was forced to notice him and began to stroke his neck and face. Then Patch tried to come closer to Liz but Justice stepped between them to prevent Patch from getting any closer. So now Liz was beside Justice patting him while Patch, Ares and Athena surrounded her in a loose circle. I asked if she noticed what the horses were doing and how she felt now. She said she did not feel lonely anymore.

There were so many life lessons in that one session.

1. The horses were reflecting back what she was presenting to them. Many times when we feel lonely we are unconsciously sending out negative energy that will cause others to stay away. It’s like we put up a wall that stops the closeness that we are craving so badly. Usually it’s because we’ve been rejected before and are afraid it will happen again so we self-sabotage our very real need to be accepted. This was why the horses were mirroring her sense of being separate. That was in fact how she saw herself. When you are a child of Christ, you are never alone!

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

2. As she spoke her truth the horses were able to break free of the negative energy she was feeling and fill her need for community. When the light shines on the truth, darkness falls away. As we speak how we are really feeling, God fills the need inside of us for true friendship and love and the negative energy disappears allowing others to get close to us. When we put on an act or a “brave front” while hiding the truth we’ve opened the door to the enemy of our soul who will take us down that path of destructive thoughts. We must always find someone to share your deepest feelings and fears with who will not judge us!

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

3. Justice showed her how to overcome her loneliness by seeking her out. He purposely walked up to her, nudged her and demanded attention. When we are feeling lonely it is up to us to let someone know. Other people are not mind readers and cannot be expected to know how we are feeling. Because our worlds are so busy, we frequently miss subtle signals. We figure if someone is popular and appears to be well liked then they couldn’t possibly be lonely. This is one of the major errors of our society today and it is up to each of us to seek out some attention from someone who cares. Most times the person we seek out knows exactly how we are feeling and would be happy to help us because there was probably a time in their life when they felt the same way!

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

4. When she was honest about her feelings, the entire herd surrounded her with the acceptance she desired. As she embraced them, they reflected that honesty back to her. When we are seeking out friends, marriage partners or any type of relationship it is important to be truthful in representing ourselves. It is only when we show others who we really are that we find people that respect and honor us for those very special God given qualities. If we misrepresent ourselves thinking we need to be someone different in order to be accepted and liked, we are setting ourselves up for those deep feelings of loneliness in the future.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”

It is our job to share our hurts with one another so we can be healed.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

As we finished the session I told Liz to walk around the arena. As she did Justice walked freely beside her, fully embracing their new friendship. When she turned, he turned; when she stopped he stopped. Then the other three joined in and followed a little farther back. As she watched this happen she looked at me with a big smile and said, “They’re choosing to be with me!”

Having spent many years with various age groups of horses there is one thing I’ve always noticed. Horses, similar to us; do not like to be alone. There is safety in numbers and they have a social need to belong to a herd. When watching herds of young horses it was always interesting to observe them finding friends and interacting with each other. There was lots of kicking, biting and running going on as they determined among themselves who would be friends with whom and who they would chase off. Even in the adult horse herds there would be certain horses that became fast friends and others that would be chased away. But in each herd, every horse would find someone to be friends with. Someone to scratch their back, watch their back and eat with. I noticed that any time one horse needed companionship they would always actively seek out another horse. I have never seen a lonely horse except when a human has physically separated it from other horses. The distress the horse felt under those circumstances was real and debilitating to the animal.

Like the horses, it is important that we realize some people will like us and some won’t; but that God’s love never fails. We don’t need to be liked by everyone but we do need to be liked for ourselves. Love is a choice. Choosing who we are going to spend time with is extremely important and I pray we choose wisely. There is never a time in our life when we are not loved. As children of God we were chosen by God and can never be separated from His love. If we have deep feelings of loneliness, we must recognize that those feelings are a warning that we need to seek someone to share with. Act on it!

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. Ephesians 1:4-6

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Our journey started in April 2013. I had been packing for the last month and had the household things boxed and ready. Finally, I was going home…..back to Ontario, Canada.

On the first leg of the trip I would take all the barn/horse supplies, books and heavy things that were in the storage unit. My friend Shirley had flown down to drive up with me since I was taking the truck and horse trailer. The last few days were of course very stressful but as we left Florida behind, my thoughts turned to my promised land.

I have been in Florida since 1991. I’ve worked non-stop running a boarding, breeding, racing and training stable on 125 acres for over 15 years, mostly alone. Then I had spent the last 5 years working with at-risk youth offering Equine Assisted Learning and Equine Assisted Psychotherapy. But with several health problems and a complete intolerance for the summer heat, I knew it was time to go home. My mother had a stroke three years ago and is in a wheelchair while my father struggles to look after her. I felt an urgency in my spirit for the past few years to get back to Ontario. With the real estate market, however, it’s been tough to find a buyer for the Florida farm. All who have visited Story Book Meadows in Ocala, Florida had appreciated the fabulous facility and grounds that were immaculate and inspired. With the pond and pastures, the many granddaddy oak trees and horses, there was a beauty and peace over the property that every visitor felt.

When we crossed over the border to Ontario, it was cold and windy but there was such a sense of familiarity, a sense of coming home even though so much of the landscape had changed over the past twenty years. I had not been able to come home very often even for visits because of the responsibilities of the large number of horses on the Florida farm. The border crossing was uneventful and I received my stamped paperwork indicating I was now a returning resident of Canada. I was leaving behind my US landed immigrant status. After unloading the trailer a few days later, I immediately returned to Florida for the 2nd load.

Taking a few weeks to finish packing the house and grounds and preparing the horses for the long trip, towards the end of May we were ready for our adventure. I’d been so anxious to leave for so long I couldn’t believe it was finally happening. My health was better, and I knew everything would be great once I got out of the heat. We loaded the horses on the large Perry Transport van with lots of equipment and waved them off. Three days later we had finished loading the horse trailer, the flatbed trailer (with corral panels and lawnmower), all five dogs and away we went. I had such mixed feelings as I drove down the driveway for the last time. Florida had been good to me but also there had been much pain…

I’d been through a divorce; I’d lost my dream of the thoroughbred farm because of several injuries and adrenal collapse from the stress and overwork. I’d had to close down my non-profit when I didn’t have enough help and I was leaving behind six horses and seven dogs buried on the property who had been my very best friends. There were old friends and new acquaintances I was leaving behind and I would miss them tremendously. But I knew God was calling me back to my homeland. He had heard my cries and answered them giving us this opportunity to return to the country of my youth. It was a tiring trip but I thought “Finally, I’m going home!”

The final trip up was uneventful and tiring and we had a few chuckles with the five Jack Russell’s on the journey. It was their first time on a long road trip and staying in hotels. We crossed into Canada through Detroit on May 28th and were greeted by friendly and efficient Border Agency Officers. I felt the Lord’s favor on each part of the trip and was very thankful for the easy trip. I was anxious to get to our new home since the horses were already there. The previous owner had agreed to stay a week at the farm to look after them until we arrived. I was so thankful for her friendship and help.

As Gary & I pulled into the drive and let the dogs into their new yard, we were so excited! The horses greeted us with whinnies once they heard our familiar voices. I could see they were stressed and nervous in their new pastures. Gone were the wide open fields of grass in Florida…they had arrived to small paddocks that were overgrazed and overgrown with weeds. Part of the farm was three board fencing and part was four strand electric hotwire, which they weren’t used to.

We unloaded what we would need into the empty house for the first night and settled down. In the morning we had a closer look around. I noticed much more than I had when I viewed the property. All of a sudden it didn’t look as “ready” to use as I’d thought. I looked at all the work that needed to be done and the difference from the picture perfect farm I had left behind….and the doubts started!

The next day the weather dropped to 36 degrees. We had to find the horses blankets and put them on. Poor Sasha was shivering. They had left 95 degree weather to come to the Canadian North! What a shock to their systems. But they were frisky and excited and running around much more than they did in that heat. More doubts plagued our minds. And the murmuring started. We were sure we had made a mistake. It was so much easier in Florida!

As we were running around town the next day, considering packing the dogs and horses back up and going back to Florida, we passed the Alliston Pentacostal Church about five minutes from our home. We looked at each other and knew that was where we needed to go. We now had so many doubts about God’s plan in leading us here that I was wondering if we’d missed His voice somehow. It was Saturday afternoon so we planned on going to church the next morning.

We spent most of Saturday night grumbling and complaining about the cold weather in May. Apparently the locals were grumbling too because it was unseasonably cold. We were putting the horses into the stalls during the night until they were more used to the facility and turning them out with blankets in the morning. I tried to assure Gary that it would only last a couple of days. We only had our summer clothes unpacked at that point so we layered to find warmth.

On Sunday morning we arrived at church to be greeted by many warm and friendly people. Of course no one could understand why we would leave Florida to come back here! I had to keep reminding myself I couldn’t take the heat anymore. As we settled into the service we found ourselves feeling very much at home. The worship was fabulous, and of course the message was just on time… the Pastor spoke about how God had you just where you’re supposed to be; that even though things seem a certain way, there is really something deeper going on…..something big that God has planned which is why He has us just where He wants us. By the end of the service, Gary and I looked at each other and knew that God had given us confirmation to silence our fears and doubt. As we spoke to people in the congregation I met several who were interested in what I did with the horses and in partnering with me. Where I had struggled in Florida to get a program going in my own strength, here God was just handing me the plans. I was so excited!

I realized we had acted so much like the Israelites in the Old Testament. When God heard their cries to deliver them from the brutal hands of the Egyptians and sent Moses to help them escape, they repaid God with grumbling and complaining and the constant demand to return to Egypt where life was “easier”. I knew we were behaving like them. God showed the Israelites miracle after miracle yet they still didn’t ‘trust’ Him. The great thing about having The Holy Bible to learn from is that we don’t have to make the same mistakes. The move had been hard. Packing up an entire 50 acre farm (which took about 4 four months) including horses, household furnishings, stable equipment, tractors, mowers, tools, backhoe, tack and dogs isn’t an easy task at the best of times but moving all the way from Florida over the border to Canada was exhausting. But I didn’t want to wander for forty years in the wilderness missing my promised land, so I thanked God that he confirmed His purpose in bringing us home and we settled into making this new ranch a place to do His work.

As the weeks passed and new fencing started going up, the horses became more at ease here. We tore down the wire fencing, opened up the paddocks and made larger pastures and put up the same fencing we had in Ocala. They started to feel more secure and at home as they had room to run again and grass to eat! The weather was fabulous all summer with very few hot Florida days. Justice and Noah, the two oldest, were so much better with the cooler summer. We’ve been so blessed with God’s favor and the friendliness of the community. I’d forgotten how wonderful the Canadian people are. It really feels like home now!

Now we look forward to the exciting things God has in store for us here in our Promised Land as He brings those in need of healing down our driveway and into His arms through His angels in horse hair. As we open our farm and our hearts to our community we hope they will find the comfort we did as His creatures greet them and the peace of His presence encompasses them.

Praise and Glory be to God our Heavenly Father!

As I write this, we’re in the middle of Tropical Storm Debby. We’ve already had 9 inches of rain in two days and the end is not in sight. The skies are grey, the wind is whistling through the trees as boughs bend and branches are falling from the weight of wet moss. The ground is soggy and we can no longer use the golf cart to feed without getting stuck. There is a small lake at the back of the property that wasn’t there yesterday and the swamp is overflowing. The frogs are singing loudly while the birds are hiding in their nests. I’m sure an alligator or two will wander through our property looking for a bigger pond. The bands of rain keep sweeping through with a steady downpour. The weather channel tells me there is a tornado warning and that this will last another few days. Flooding is everywhere and the thunder is deafening. We’re thankful our home and barns are high and dry. We’re thankful the pastures drain nicely so the horse’s feet stay healthy. We’re thankful the storm doesn’t have hurricane winds.

When the first rain starts falling, depending on the personality of each horse, they have several reactions. Sasha starts rearing, bucking and energetically showing her dislike of the elements. Then once she settles down and realizes she isn’t going to stop the rain with her antics, she runs to the shelter. In the next pasture, Rose throws a few kicks and bucks while Chief calmly walks to the shelter and stays inside until it stops. Rose follows shortly and they huddle together in friendship. Hollywood gets down and rolls, trying to dry himself as quickly as the rain falls. Justice, Patch, Ares and Athena continue grazing as though the storm around them cannot touch them.

When the storms hit our ranch here in Central Florida, we “hunker down and ride them out.” We’ve found it is a waste of time to rant, rave, scream, get angry or otherwise complain and waste our precious energy, trying to show our dislike of the unchangeable situations. After all, what can we really do about the weather. And if we’re honest with ourselves, what can we really do about the storms of life. The disappointments, tragedies, lost chances, broken dreams, ended relationships, financial ruin and many more all envelope us at various stages of our lives. These are the trials and tribulations that Jesus talks about in the Bible. Things that happen that could very well destroy us, if we don’t learn how to deal with them.

Since horses have a very high level of emotional intelligence (a high EQ), meaning they’ve learned how to keep their emotions level and calm, let’s look at what they do, and see what we can learn from the herd…

1. Sasha threw a fit at first then ran to the shelter while the storm raged. These are the drama queens. Every time there is trouble, we scream, cry, blame everyone else for our troubles, get angry and generally carry on at emotional levels that far exceed the trouble. Eventually we get to the point of realizing that the past is over and we must pick ourselves up and carry on. By the time we get to this point however, we’re exhausted, stressed and have generally made everyone else exhausted and stressed. We’ve destroyed our own joy and the joy of everyone around us. As we go to our “shelter” to ride out the storm, we’re depressed and looking to medicate our pain. We try drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating or hiding to overcome our pain at whatever ‘storm’ has invaded our lives. Our health suffers. Disease attacks our bodies and our strength is weakened. But Sasha rebelled for only a few minutes before running for shelter. How long do we stay in the storm, tossing every which way before we finally realize that we need to seek the shelter of the MOST HIGH GOD…see Psalm 91. Unfortunately, some of us never grab hold of the joy that can be found in Jesus and the freedom He offers.

2. Chief calmly walks to the shelter but Rose, like Sasha, throws a few kicks at first then follows Chief to shelter. It’s interesting to watch this pair as Chief ignores Rose’s antics and leads the way to shelter. On her own Rose would continue to stress for awhile but with the steady influence of Chief, she settles and follows his calm leadership. In families and relationships, many times we need the guiding influence of a steadier person to help us ride out our storms. Accepting help can be a difficult thing for many people for many reasons. They may feel unworthy of help. They may have too much pride to accept help. But sometimes they’ve simply never had someone offer them help and don’t really understand how to accept it. Many people don’t understand that a helping hand is a blessing from God. It is the answer to their prayer. Rose trusted Chief enough to know he would not lead her astray. When you have confidence in the person offering you help…let them bless you and in offering a helping hand, they will in return be blessed. It won’t change the trouble, but it will give you comfort during those darker days.

3. Hollywood rolls trying to dry himself and minimize the effects of the storm. While Hollywood tries to dry himself, he is looking to evade the storm. He tries and tries to dispel the discomfort and cover up the situation. He races around the pasture trying to outrun the storm, until finally, it is too much and he knows that isn’t the solution. Many times we also try to minimize the damage of the trials in our lives. We hide the problems we are facing and put on a happy face all the while hurting inside while we carry the burden ourselves. But while the storm is raging around us, there is damage to everyone involved. While we hide our true situation, families are hurt by the lack of truth, our own health suffers in living a lie and frequently any others who are involved are hurt worse than if we were right up front in the beginning. In the end, the darkness comes to light while the storm still rages outwardly. How many of us rage against God, blaming him for our troubles instead of seeking him in repentance, knowing that He is right there beside us waiting for us to come back to Him.

4. Justice, Patch, Ares & Athena calmly graze while the rain pounds down and the water rises up. These four horses (my EAL herd) show the deep sense of peace that comes from knowing their creator is in charge. Although the other horses take a little longer to remember the truth that these four have already conquered, this wise herd faces their trials by calmly engaging in their everyday routines. They turn their hindquarters to the storm, as the relentless rain continues to drench them, secure in their knowledge that after the storm the sun will shine again. The wisest of us have learned to go through the storm while hanging onto our peace. We have learned to turn our butt’s to the trouble and pray in faith and wait in peace for the storm to pass. In knowing Christ as our savior, we are able to meditate on His many promises as our boat starts to sink…knowing that He is with us. He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. We must learn to recognize which storms have come upon us because of our bad choices and which ones surround us because God is allowing our trouble in order to build our character to become more like Christ. And sometimes He allows the problems in our lives so we will return to Him in repentance…it is a loving form of discipline to believers. No matter what the reason for our trouble, we can rise above our emotions and, with wisdom, trust God.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

In knowing that God is always with us and loves us we can rest in His presence as the wind blows and the rain falls around us. When we have built our house on the foundation of Christ, we know that each problem is a chance for us to grow our character into the image of Christ. We know that He is ultimately in control and we are able to put on “a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair” Isaiah 61:-3. “And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. Let us remember that this is a NARROW promise. It is only for those ‘who love him, who have been called.’ This promise is for children of Christ, for those who have been born again. For without Him, there is no hope. If you don’t know Christ but would like some spiritual coaching, please call for a session. If you are ready to give your life to Christ, please contact us to pray with you. Then find a Christ centered church to attend and begin your new life.

So sisters and brothers in Christ, the next time we face a situation that causes us to feel despair, sorrow or anger, let us not forget who is ultimately in charge. The next time we feel we won’t survive the storm, let’s remember these words of comfort from our Creator. Let’s get control of those thoughts that rule our emotions. Let’s remember He holds each of our lives in His hands and if He is allowing us to go through a trial, it is only to lovingly help us grow into better human beings; to seek Him, to honor Him and to worship Him….for that is the reason He created us! The sun will shine tomorrow!

PRAISE GOD FROM WHO ALL BLESSINGS FLOW,
PRAISE GOD ALL CREATURES HERE BELOW,
PRAISE HIM ABOVE, YE HEAVENLY HOSTS,
PRAISE FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST.

What my horses taught me …

 

By Trish Andros Carlo….”dedicated to the little girl in every woman who always wanted a horse or her own…”

 

 

As a child I was timid and shy and scared of being with people. At school I had few friends and was the brunt of many jokes. At a time when most kids were thin, I was the fattest child in the school. I couldn’t do sports because my co-ordination was terrible, I really couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. Everyone would laugh when I tried to run a relay race because I was miles behind the rest of the class. So I studied and read and became an honor student in of all my courses but that made them bully me more, because I was the ‘browner’, the teacher’s pet. My teenage crushes went unnoticed by boys who only looked at the prettiest girls. So I ate more cakes and cookies to make up for my unhappiness and I hid from people.

At the age of fourteen, my life changed. I found a friend who accepted me just the way I was. He didn’t care what I looked like, how fast I could run or how smart I was. He was kind and gentle and gave me his undivided attention. He was tall and golden with a white mane and tail. His name was Moonshadow and he was my first horse. I would spend hours with him each day after school, brushing his silky coat and talking to him about everything that was important to a teenager. When I climbed into the saddle, we became one with each other. As we galloped over the green hills of Canada with the roar of the wind in my hair and the thunder of his pounding hooves, I could feel his strength and his power with each stride. Nothing could stop us, we were flying. We were free.

Over the next few years, we spent every possible moment together. Our communication was completely without words. When I rode him, he would respond to my thoughts before I asked him with my legs. I understood him, and he understood me. It was like we were connected in mind, body and spirit. We spent many hours in the sunshine amongst the birds and the trees either riding for hours over the trails or with me just sitting on the ground reading a book while Moonshadow grazed beside me. His calm, rhythmic munching was a comfort to my soul. There was nothing I couldn’t tell him. He was eager to hear my every secret and story. He would nudge me when I cried and play with me when I laughed. He was truly my best friend.

The lessons Moonshadow taught me would stay with me for a lifetime. He taught me how to conquer my fears as we sailed over four foot jumps. He taught me how to be confident each time we entered the show ring. He taught me how to celebrate when we won our first blue ribbon. He taught me who my real friends were, when the kids at the barn accepted me as part of their team. He taught me about partnership and how to give and take. He taught me to be a good leader because he only followed me when I got it right. He taught me to be responsible as I fed him and cleaned his stall each day. He taught me how to solve problems when I needed to figure something out. He taught me about patience and persistence when I had trouble training him. He taught me about laughter when he would act silly and we played games. He taught me about commitment because I knew I’d keep him forever. He taught me about compassion, when he was sick one cold winter’s night and I stayed with him until the morning. He taught me about weight loss, and that physical exercise helped me get thin. He showed me that I ate less when we stayed busy and had lots of fun. He showed me how to build muscles as I stacked bales of hay into the loft each summer. He taught me that girls could do any job that guys could do as I dug post holes, built fences and drove a backhoe. He taught me how to say NO when I needed to set boundaries. He let me know when I was angry that he didn’t want to be around me. He taught me that jealousy was a wasted emotion and something he never felt.

He taught me to ask for affection as he nudged me when he wanted some loving. He taught me how to make decisions about the rest of my life. He taught me how to pray when he was injured and the vet said the infection may kill him. He taught me how to be thankful when God saved his life. He bolted out of fear one day and as I was falling off his back, he introduced me to my Guardian Angel who put me safely back in the saddle and saved me from a bad fall. Moonshadow taught me about a mother’s unselfish love as she drove me to the stables and waited hours while I rode on a cold snowy day. He taught me about a father’s unending generosity as Dad paid for all of his expenses. Moonshadow taught me to follow my heart because he always followed his. He never judged me or called me names and he taught me I could do anything I put my mind to. He taught me how to work hard and he taught me how to be still. He taught me how to be caring as he became older and in pain with arthritis in his joints. He taught me about honesty because horses NEVER lie. He taught me about integrity and I learned to do what’s right. He taught me not to worry about what others thought of me but to love myself because I was special. He taught me to show what I was feeling because horses are authentic. He taught me how to love unconditionally because he was an expert at forgiveness. He showed me what courage looked like, as he battled disease in his body. And after 39 years of life, with his final lesson, he taught me how to grieve. When I buried Moonshadow on my farm, I was sad for a moment, but in my mind I could see him galloping over the hills once more, and in my heart I knew his spirit would be forever in heaven with Jesus. We’d been partners for 28 years and he taught me how to celebrate life.

When I had left my teenage years behind and those carefree days at the farm became fewer, the lessons Moonshadow had taught me were embedded in my soul and would carry me through my life journey. Those lessons helped me start my own business at the age of 22. As a fashion consultant, I helped others find confidence in themselves. I was able to stand in front of a roomful of people and speak publicly, no longer terrified. When I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship, I knew enough to leave because I’d learned I deserved better. After college, I became the general manager of my father’s manufacturing company, taking control of the company with ease and determination. Although I still owned Moonshadow and a few other horses during my years in business, my heart was missing the connection of our spirits. So after ten years in the daily grind of corporate business, I moved to Ocala, Florida and bought a 125 acre farm. It was a strange country and a town where I knew no one but I thought of it as an adventure. I was soon to find there was another mixture of lessons that I would learn from my four legged friends. From breaking and training young horses to racing thoroughbreds, I operated a 40 horse thoroughbred farm. As I started breeding and foaling mares, the lessons continued. I learned from each age group of horses more and more about communication and the wisdom they could impart to me.

I learned about relationships because horses are the experts on relational harmony. I learned someone would always be in control, but it didn’t always have to be me. I watched foals with their mothers and learned how to discipline. I watched weanlings playing in the pasture and learned how to schedule fun into my day. I watched yearlings grow into adults and start their own careers and how determination and repetition had them winning at their game. I learned about second chances when my racehorse won a race after recovering from an injury that was supposed to be career ending. I learned that as long as I did my best I could accept whatever happened. I learned from my herd of horses how to get along with others and what acceptable behavior looked like. I learned it doesn’t matter what others think of me, but what I think of myself will guide my destiny. I learned I could choose who I wanted to spend time with and who I should walk away from. I learned to be direct and to ask for what I wanted. I learned to find balance in my life because that was the only way to thrive. I learned to be kind to others because we need each other to survive. I learned to hear without words and to look at the heart because it is wiser. I learned to love God’s creation and to spend time in nature every day. I learned that faith isn’t just a word, but the substance of what dreams are made of. I learned that love is a choice as the herd accepted a new member. I learned that peace comes from within as I watched the herd graze at sunset. I thought about the 40 years I’ve spent with my horses and realized they had been my teachers and my coaches.

Finally I knew it was time to follow my passion of helping others learn the lessons of life from horses too. Today I’ve become a Certified Life Coach and Equine Specialist and teamed up with my horses on our beautiful ranch to offer everyone the opportunity to learn from the wisdom of the herd. They taught me that I’m creating my life story by the actions I choose each day. Our coaching programs are for teens, women, couples, families, business teams and leaders.

* May 4, 2003 – March 7th , 2012 *

We buried Seth on March 7th, 2012, in a quiet spot beside the pond under an oak tree. He was my best friend. He was loyal, sensitive, loving, kind, gentle, joyful and very special, and the lessons his life and death taught me will continue in my heart forever.

Seth was born on May 4th 2003. July was the first time I saw him when he was loping around the yard of his breeder’s property with one other litter mate. They were the last two to be sold. I loved his kind eyes and his big, big, big feet. I knew he would be a very large Doberman when reaching his full growth.

When I took him home, he was introduced to Kayla, my 11 year old Doberman female who was quite possessive of my time, Scooter, a fun loving Jack Russell and Candy, (another JR) a stray who had given me five puppies the month before. I had decided to get another Doberman because Kayla was old and I didn’t want to be without a Dobie. I also figured since I was dealing with Candy’s puppies anyways, what was one more. So with a total of nine dogs, the next few months were heavy on the fun, lots of laughs and much cleaning of accidents on the floor. Grumpy Kayla spent much time growling at puppies but that didn’t deter them from trying to follow her everywhere and offer her lots of kisses.

As time moved along, the puppies grew up, one was sold and the rest found their spots in the family. They would all run along with the golf cart to help me feed the horses and roll and tumble play with each other at every opportunity.

After the death of Kayla and Scooter, our family was smaller but the bond between Seth and the other puppies was very strong. It was always quite funny to watch Seth think he was a Jack Russell as he swam in the pond and chased squirrels (I was told by a breeder that Dobermans hate water, hmmm) and to see the Jack Russell’s pretend to be guard dogs as strangers visited the farm. I’ve always found with my Dobermans that by the age of four they have become inseparable from me and Seth was no different. Wherever I was, he wanted to be by my side. It was his mission in life to spend time with me. Considering my love language is quality time, Seth filled me up with love. When Gary and I would be together, Seth would always snuggle right between us to be sure he was still close by.

When we started our program for at-risk youth, Seth was always there to greet the kids visiting the farm. His bark would terrify them until they took a chance to overcome their fear and would gather around him for hugs and kisses. Once they befriended him, he would not leave their side. For these often neglected children, he showed them what loyalty and love looked like. Many of the foster children visiting the ranch were taken away from their pets when they left their homes. Seth filled a spot that was hurting for them during that time in their lives.

Seth & Joey

In July of 2009 Seth suddenly stopped eating. Thinking he had an issue with his stomach, I took him to the vet. Within seconds of listening with the stethoscope, Dr. Culbertson informed me that it was his heart. With a feeling of dread, I asked him what that meant. He said his heart was in Atrial Fibrillation, he was in Heart Failure. Knowing Dobermans are prone to Cardio Myopathy and finding out my precious Seth now had the dreaded disease filled me with sorrow.

Thus began our journey of living with and managing this disease of the heart. We made an appointment with a Cardiologist in Gainesville immediately and after his thorough examination of x-rays, ultra sounds and EKG’s the final diagnosis was bleak. The vet told us of the many medications Seth needed to go on and that at most he would have six months. I was saddened and disheartened to hear these words. It was like a death sentence had been issued. As I drove Seth home I cried most of the way…for the years we wouldn’t have together and the loss of friendship that was close. The wonderful thing about animals of course is that Seth did not understand those fateful words spoken over him that day.

When I got home and watched Seth happily playing with his buddies, I prayed for direction for my next step. With all of the many horses and dogs I’ve owned over the years, I have always asked God for help in caring for them when I’ve been lost for knowledge. The bible tells us to pray for wisdom, and so I did. As I prayed for help in this situation, my heavenly Father reminded me that nothing was over and neither people nor animals died until He determined their time. I was to seek more answers and to pray continuously. Immediately, my fear was replaced with faith and I set up my next plan of attack. I made an appointment with UF to take Seth for an acupuncture appointment to see what eastern medicine could offer Seth in addition to western medicine. I also sent out a prayer request for everyone I knew to pray for Seth and we asked God to give us more time with Seth.

At the acupuncture appointment, I was given several Chinese Herbs to help strengthen his heart muscles and help his stomach. He began to eat better shortly after this appointment. Slowly Seth regained the weight he had lost and as the days wore on, he went back to his normal life. As we enjoyed our days with Seth, I knew his time was shorter but I also knew it was in God’s hands. Although it had been suggested Seth be kept on a leash, Gary and I determined this was not the life Seth would enjoy and we would not restrict his exercise in this way. We would rather his life be shorter than unhappy. The dog’s greatest joy was the times they ran the farm with us during feeding morning and night. This was when they knew they had our undivided attention. So time went on, we prayed daily for Seth’s disease to be cured and for more time with him. The six months came and went and still Seth enjoyed normal days, although he was on several medications for his heart.

Seth and his Jack Russells

Two years later almost to the day of his first symptoms, Seth started to cough. Alarmed, once again that the disease was changing, we went back to the vet. He now had water in his lungs. He was put on Lasix to remove the water and we had to be a little more careful of how he exercised. Finally, the time had come where he could no longer run great distances chasing squirrels or following his JR friends. As his heart got bigger, it was no longer able to pump the blood sufficiently enough to remove the fluids and they were building up in his lungs. So on our new schedule of medications, we continued on. Our prayers still brought us comfort knowing God cared for all of his animals.

In October of 2011, we had a medical emergency and took Seth to the University around 3am. I thought this would be it and he would have to be put to sleep. But Jesus our healer was once again with us and after spending the day at the University, Seth returned home once again bouncy and happy and feeling better than he had in weeks. We enjoyed this borrowed time we now had with him. But more damage had been done to his lungs and it seemed even he knew that his activities were now restricted. The hardest part was that his mind and will wanted to do so much more than his body would allow him to do. We could see the struggle he had when we wouldn’t let him run with his friends. He listened to us and we loved him that much more to make up for these changes. The medications once again were increased after this emergency (he was taking 35 pills a day) and our own time became more restricted as we needed to be home more often to give him his meds. It seemed I could only be away from the house for three or four hours at a time before I would need to get back for Seth. In the rare moments I felt a prisoner to him and his needs, my want to nurture and care for him quickly overpowered those thoughts. Daily we thanked God for this extra time Seth was with us because we knew the time was now short. We were given the gift of saying goodbye slowly.

Seth & JR's helping to feed the horses

By February, I took him back to the University for another check-up. They said there were no changes and that all his tests were fine. It seemed we still had months. Yet over the next few weeks we could see his heart fading right in front of us. The Lasix was taking longer to work and it seemed he was coughing more. Finally in the last week, Seth could barely walk from the golf cart to the house without having coughing fits. The dose was already very high, and I was afraid of him suffocating each night. Lungs filled with water from this disease are much like drowning in a pond. He couldn’t breathe comfortably without high doses of medicine. Even though Seth still wanted to do all the things with us he had always done, his body was giving out on him. He tried to still be a watchdog but barking would give him fits of coughing. He rode with us on the golf cart to feed but couldn’t wander around without fits of coughing. And so we knew it was time. From the beginning of the disease I had wondered how I would know when it was time but as that moment approached, I knew that Seth no longer had a quality of life worth living…and although he would keep trying, it wasn’t fair to him when I couldn’t explain to him how sick he really was. As I made an appointment with our vet to come to the farm to euthanize Seth, the tears were falling non-stop. I couldn’t believe the time had finally come to say goodbye. As I went through the routine of our last day together I was so sad. Sad enough that Seth knew something was wrong as he tried to comfort me all day. Even in his distress, he thought only of me. It was our last time to feed together, our last time to play; the last time I would sit on his bed with him and just stroke his soft coat. It was his last ride on the golf cart, and the last time he would play with his Jack Russell friends. It was 7:30 in the evening when the vet arrived. I had spent the last hour sitting on the back deck with him, telling him how much I loved him. I knew I would miss this closeness that we shared but I also knew this was the right thing to do. Seth was suffering with his breathing and I held him as we let him go home to Jesus.

My comfort came from many places. The vet told me Seth had lived longer with this disease than any other dog he’d known in heart failure. He thanked me for taking care of him for so long because many of his clients would have quit much sooner. I knew that the extra time had been God’s answer to our prayers. Although I had hoped He would heal Seth completely, I was grateful to have had the extra time. I knew that I had given Seth more of my presence and love than I would have had he not been sick. You see, I had stopped taking him for granted because I knew the end could come at any time. This was one of those gifts I had learned from his illness. That I needed to love those close to me every day and that time was short and there isn’t always a tomorrow.

I was also comforted knowing that Seth was in heaven with Jesus and I would one day be with him again. Yes animals do go to heaven. The heaven that Jesus speaks of in the bible is a place of unimaginable beauty and scripture is filled with times when God tells us how much he cares for every animal. My God had shown me once years ago that my dogs were with Him. So I knew our time apart was only temporary.

But most importantly, I learned that prayers are heard and that God is in control. Our faith kept Seth with us for far longer than what was normal. He outlived the initial vet’s forecast by over two years. I learned what sacrificial love is in caring for Seth as his needs always came before mine. I now live with a better understanding of what Jesus did for me when he died on the cross so I can spend eternity with Him. His death was the ultimate in sacrificial love. And I learned what it was to be loved unconditionally by a big black and tan dog.

The next few days and weeks were tough for all of us. Seth wasn’t there to greet me at the gate when I came home. He wasn’t taking up most of the golf cart seat as we fed the horses. Seth wasn’t growling at Tyler in their ongoing battle for dominance and Seth wasn’t on his big bed sleeping with Zoe cuddled up beside him. It wasn’t time for his pills every four hours and I didn’t have to rush home to let him out because the Lasix was working so quickly. But mostly, Seth wasn’t there for me to love on when I needed some pet therapy myself. His big brown eyes weren’t looking over the gate to greet me each morning ready to face the joys of the day. It was the first time in over twenty years that there wasn’t a Doberman in my family. Although our sadness and grief was great, I knew Seth was in a place where there are no more tears and no more pain. He is blessed and at peace with his Creator.

Goodbye Seth, you are forever in my heart!

Seth on our last day together

(If anyone has not accepted Jesus a their Lord and Savior or isn’t sure if their eternal destination is heaven, please call or email us to find out more about what happens after death or find a bible based church to attend to learn more about the salvation available to all in Christ Jesus)

(If you are struggling with grief over the loss of those dear to you, I can recommend a wonderful and compassionate Grief Coach to you….please visit www.JenniferShawCoaching.com)